Wednesday, December 20, 2006

My Precious...

There's now one of these parked outside my apartment with papers inside that say it's mine.

Her license # contained "tbo" in honor of "The Beige One".

However, Ly and I are trying to come up with other names, please feel free to give more ideas:

the blue one
the blue oracle
the buddhist one
the blue ohm

(and now so I can stop sounding like a really lame guy trying to name his penis...)

I must go do my billing so we can pay for all of it.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

And then came Vagittarians

What's a Vagittarian you may ask? Well, it's one of 3 Sagittarian women born on December 11th. When I became a part of Open Circle Theater company, WAY back in the day, 2 other women were in the company that shared my birthday. Up until that point, I had never met anyone who shared my birthday, and now, I seem to know, like 20 people. As to why we chose the word "Vagittarians", well, anyone who knows me won't have any questions, those who don't, it's not hard to do the math. Anyway, we kind of formed a Charlie's Angels meets a white girls Destiny's Child sort of thing - but in a cool Seattle fringe theater'y sort of way(if that's possible). We started having big parties every year on our birthday. Highlights of these parties over the years included: my husband doing a strip tease in a crowded bar(on more than one occasion), me ending up literally under the table passed out drunk(at same bar only a different year - I think), and while planning our party one year, drinking, smoking, and later having such a hallucinatory time(with help, of course), that I ate bark, almost burned my hair off, tried to go outside naked multiple times, nurse on my friend(yes, I said nurse), and peed in the street. That was a memorable one.

Thank God those days are gone. We're much older, and a lot more tired. So this year, we are getting together at the Owl and Thistle Monday night, December 11th, at 9pm. So if you're reading this and are so inclined, please feel free to stop on by.

Friday, December 01, 2006


I figured instead of trying to recreate the last month, I'd just update based on whatever little thing comes into my head. It's been a veritable snow storm in my head lately. But thanks to a week in Albuquerque, some vigorous chanting since being back home, stepping up the work-outs, the storm in my head has mellowed, a bit.

Thanksgiving in Albuquerque was delightful. It was hard work, and I think Mandy, Ly and I did a good job of bringing everything together. Highlights from the trip include walking into the living room to see 7 year Madeline reading my copy of the sexiest man alive People. I asked her what she was reading about, and she told me she was reading about Lipitor(being very careful to sound it out as she read it), some new holiday film fair, and sexy men. Goes to show you never know what the children are picking up. Little Zach and I had a good time tearing bread for stuffing. We would tear the bread, look at each other, make bombing noises as we launched our bread piece into the big bowl in the middle of the table, and then giggle sinisterly like 4 year olds. Well, he IS 4, but I do a really good impression of a 4 year old.

Other kids highlights included watching Lyam and Zach play like boys in the back yard. Apparently they created two thrones out of some plastic backyard chairs, and it was Zach's idea to throw the slaves into the pit below. The two kings threw the imaginary slaves into the pit, and then came more evil giggling (Zach likes his evil giggling).

Had some great yoga classes while in NM. Learned a few things about grounding my femurs. Who knew? It's actually helped a lot in my massage. I need to get back into a class, but I want a class that isn't free flow yoga, and is more of, here is a pose, here's how to do it correctly, now go. I must purchase some yoga sandbags however, these things are one of the best inventions I've ever found. Gave a few massages while there. One of Lyam's, Mandy's and my friends from college also lives in Albuquerque, and he just finished (or is finishing) a massage therapy program. So we did an exchange, and it was delightful. Dude worked me over. I gave Mandy and the hubby massages, and tried to convince said hubby of the importance of getting massage for high-up corporate types who deal with a lot of stress.

We also had some really cool chanting sessions with Mandy. One chanting session included the kids. It was really amazing to see how they took to it. As Mandy put it, they were both really "nonplussed" by the chanting. And little miss "I'm 7 going on 40" took Mandy's chanting book from her and began trying to read and say the Sanskrit right along with us - and did a good job to boot.

Thanksgiving was lovely. Lyam, Mandy and I worked much of the day to get things prepared. I have before and after pics of our turkey, but haven't figured how to get them off my phone yet. Ly and I made our homemade Irish creme, and we had most of it polished off by the evening. Mandy made 3 pies which were all delicious, but the cherry was killer. You can't go wrong with crust and fruity filling in my opinion. I was in charge of the bean casserole, and apparently using real beans was a new experience for many. Most Mormons I've come in contact with use canned beans. Thanksgiving is definitely more creamy and "canny" in Mormon circles. Speaking of creamy, I did the gravy (as it should be if I do say so myself). I love to make sauce man, I love stirring rue and adding spices. And yah know, corn starch can kiss my ass, the only way to do gravy in my opinion, is to do it with milk.

We left on Saturday and got home that night. Apparently it started to snow once we left NM. And the next day, it was a blizzard here in Seattle. We had a coupla good snow storms here which is quite unusual, especially in November.

In other news, Ly and I were approved for a car loan. I think we are going to wait until right before Christmas to get it, just to make sure those car dealers are ready and hopping to get rid of those things before the new year. I've narrowed the car down to a 2003 or 2004 Subaru Forester. Now it's just a matter of finding the right one. So I never knew that when you get a loan through your credit card agency, they approve you for a set amount, and then they send you a blank check. It really shouldn't be that easy, but there you have it. So by January folks, the Whites will no longer be carless (thank the Gods!).

I don't know if I mentioned that I am starting Alexander Technique lessons. I had one lesson before we left for New Mexico, but on Monday I start a 10 session series. I can not WAIT! My voice and my neck will be very happy.

I know there was more to say, but it's gone for now. I don't have a really clever way of ending this post, so goodbye, and happy December. I love December, and not just because it is the month in which I was born, but because it's just really friggin cozy.

Friday, November 03, 2006

The good, bad, and the ugly

As the title suggests, the past few weeks have been a bit of all of the above. First of all, I need to make an urgent request of the universe, please tell Mercury and it's retrograde self that it has messed with my head for the last time. I still wax vague on many things astrological, but hells bells if I don't feel the effects of Mercury in retrograde every single time.

For example, the day Mercury went into retrograde my cwrubs email address finally bit the bullet. After many months of not receiving invoices from my hosting company, and then having my email service turned off without notice, I finally called them and told them that they could kindly shove their hosting services up their collective RAMs. So Ly and I now only have our gmail addresses. I'm sure this is doing wonderful things to my business and all the people that have emailed me wanting massage in the last week. More Mercurial examples: faxes not going through, complete misunderstandings with friends, clients cancelling and not calling, phones acting c.r.a.z.y. It all needs to stop or I'm gonna stick my big Sagittarian Jupiter ass on it.

In car news, I found out that Washington Mutual no longer does car loans. What's up with that? I thought all banks were supposed to carry car loans. I have some leads on places online that can do financing though, so I'm going to shop around, get a few interest rate quotes, so I can have them when I go to the dealership after we return from Albuquerque.

In biz news, I have hired someone to help me with my bookkeeping and office work. After 6 months of looking at a 4-month backlog of receipts that need to be entered into my expense ledger, I finally decided to hire someone for 4 hours a week. I just can't do all the work that is entailed in running my business. It takes so much discipline to work at home. It takes a lot of prioritizing to decide if one should do billing, do follow-up with insurance companies, enter receipts into one's expense ledger, do the laundry, do the dishes, vacuum the floor, chant, work-out etc. I think that this person will be a life-saver. Although the idea of me actually having an independent contractor employee is kind of tripping me out. Now all I need to do is get online and do some research on exactly what forms I need her to fill out.

Which brings me to exciting things, two weeks until we leave for Albuquerque. I can not WAIT. I can't wait to go to multiple yoga classes, to play with my Mandy kids. We just made reservations at a hotel today. We're going to stay with Mandy for two days, in a hotel for two days, and then back to Mandy's for two days. That way we can break it up, have some time on our own, give the folks some space, and still have plenty of time to hang, and partake in a delightful Thanksgiving.

That all said, I feel the need to work through some things that have been going on in my head as of late. I'm not necessarily looking for validation, I'm just writing about this to get it out of my head. I find that scary discloser usually lessens the hold my neuroses have on me. I've been feeling pretty insecure about many things as of late. This insecurity is more annoying than crippling(I've definitely had that kind as well). I go through these phases of feeling like I'm a bad wife, a barely adequate massage therapist, that everyone out there thinks that Lyam is the only actor in this family and that I suck at that too, and ultimately, an anxiety-wridden(sp?) bitter fop with no life of her own.

We recently found out that another one of our good friends is going to have a baby. Right now, in this moment, I am very, very happy for her. A massage therapist where I work just had a new baby, and my little sister is going to give birth to her 4th in just a few months. When I first heard the news about our friend, it totally threw me for a loop. When I first heard it, I heard it with ears that were sure that it was yet another way of the universe reminding me of all the things that everyone else can have, except for Stine. I completely went to victimland. Babies were taken away from me, my voice was taken away from me, monetary compensation has eluded me (until recently), my father left when I was little...blah..blah...blah. The usual course of this line of thinking is that Stine then becomes very bitter and resentful. I've been really trying to work through that the past few weeks. The more bitter and resentful I feel, the more I beat myself up, and the whole process starts all over again.

So what have I done about it? Well first of all, I'm trying really hard to not discount or compartimentalize my shit, because that only makes it worse. So as uncomfortable as I sometimes feel, I just have to feel like ass, and take care of myself. I've been chanting up a storm lately, and that is helping immensely. It just helps me center myself, give myself that time and care, and clear out some of that energy from my body. And finally, I've been trying desperately to shift my perceptions of what I don't have, to what I do have. So in that spirit, I feel the need to make a list to remind myself of all the things I have been blessed with.

- a solid, realistic, exciting, passionate, frustrating, tantalizing, and exquisite marriage
- a fairly adept sense of humor (however raunchy it may run on occasion)
- hands that feel, see, and hear so much of what is going on when they touch people
- a business that is booming, and challenges me every day
- a very anal organized sense of what it takes to run an office (thank you mother)
- a humanistic philosophy and Buddhist practice that keeps me grounded, safe, and constantly moving in a forward direction
- most of the time, a sex life that would be envied by any married couple(speaking of, it may be time for a purple toy combo)
- a best friend who's presence reminds me every day what being human, compassionate, open, and resiliant really mean
- an extended group of talented, generous, and vibrant friends

See, what do I have to be worried about?

Friday, October 20, 2006

Out of the mouths of babes

Spoken by my 4 year old niece who was speaking to her mother(my sister) referencing my mother(her grandmother) who was standing near-by...

"'ll have to use small words when you talk to her, she's a little slow today."

Thursday, October 19, 2006

The BODIES exhibit

Lot's of anatomy and physiology geekiness follows, read at your own discretion.

So Monday, my friend and I went to the BODIES exhibit here in Seattle. I had gone through a six week cadaver course during massage school, but this was lots more art'y than formaldehyde soaked corpses.

There were many displays of cadavers in various positions: throwing a basketball, sitting and thinking, running. One of the muscular exhibits had many of the individual muscles flayed and hardened away from the body so you could see each origin and insertion of each muscle. It was so cool to be reminded of where many of the muscles attach, how deep and thick some of the muscle groups are. The lumbar erector spinae are 2 inches deep.

The circulatory room was KILLER! They did a process in which they injected a hardening colored plastic substance into the veins and arteries, then they chemically melted away the rest of the flesh. All that was left was a perfect colored cast of the circulatory system. They did the process with many individual organs. The most fascinating of these was the kidney. The kidney is the most highly pressurized system in the body, and the cast of it's circulatory system looked like red velvet. It is completey inundated with arteries.

The fetal room was a bit difficult to take. It was medically fascinating, but I tried to just look at the pathologies without thinking too much about them. There was a fetus born with spinal bifida, one born with anencephaly Look at your own risk, and one born with abdominal herniation, which is when all of the internal organs form on the outside of the body. There were also small exhibits in which you looked through a magnifying glass into a tube that contained various developmental levels of fetuses(what IS the plural for fetus?). That was a little difficult, especially since we just found out that another of our good friends is pregnant(I had a little breakdown about that, but things are better now).

The pathologies were also utterly transfixing. There was a complete transverse cut of the brain. This brain had had a major stroke. It looked as if the entire surface of this brain had mold on it. It looked as you would visualize a circuit board that had browned out and blew many fuses. There was a brain with Parkinson's, there were many blackened lungs (this was one of the hardest parts of the exhibit, for me). There were also various organ pathologies such as liver cirrhosis, enlarged hearts, and brain tumors.

They used a distinct polymer in preserving the cadavers, but you could still smell the dead body smell underneath it. It ended up being very acrid and sickningly sweet. So after about one hour, my friend and I couldn't take the smell anymore, and had to leave. Dead body smell tends to stick with you, literally. It sticks to your skin, your windpipe, you taste it for a few hours after you've left. So we had to leave, get some fresh air, and put something else down our gullet other than dead body smell and chemical polymers.

I have to say though, I found the exhibit exhillerating. It reaffirmed my desire to study craniosacral. Looking at the inside of the skull made me remember anew how intricate, complex, and like a little factory our brains are. Seeing the Sella turcica, how it connects the front and back of the brain, how the pituitary sits in the center, and how one can affect it through craniosacral, was fascinating.

Any of you locals who have the desire, and the stomach for it, I highly suggest seeing this exhibit. I'll go with ya, if ya want.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Chirp, chirp...

Man, it's deader n' a friggin doornail in bloggerland these days. I know, I know, I'm one to talk. Life gets crazy, and all of the sudden you have 20 emails to respond to, 7 phone calls to return, 2 feet of paperwork to do, a stack of sheets 12 miles deep, and voila, many other things suffer.

Despite the treading water aspect of the previous paragraph, things are good. I've started my new schedule at both my locations. This leaves me working Wednesdays at the fitness center, Thursdays through Saturdays at the chiropractor's, and then Sunday through Tuesday not doing massage (theoretically). After tomorrow, my hands will have logged 23 hours of massage this week. 16 hours is considered full-time. And as I typed the above paragraph, I couldn't help thinking to myself, "yes Stine, you officially HAVE become your mother." I love my mother desperately, but daily updates of the "work" one has done make for a quick pathologic psychic fix.

I got's me a new 4 drawer file cabinet. My Lordy how it has made me creamy to not have to bend over and search through an egg crate full of extraneous file folders and papers for a blank insurance file folder. I swear there is much Virgo in my chart somewhere. A big double fire ball of controlfreakdom. Yay!

So if you haven't read Ly's latest post about the TV on the Radio concert, it was simply to. die. I haven't been this gung ho about a band since Youth Group. Ly's the music nerd in the family, so you know if I'm all over it, it has to be good, or a show tune. Both lead singers were haht(yes I did mean to spell it that way). Their harmonies were flawless, there production was first rate. I loved every second of it.

In other news, I've been thinking about looking for a yoga class. It's time for me to take a class again as I've been feeling like a bit of a work horse lately - a role I've completely taken on in all it's perfectionistic glory. I've been on output mode lately, a lot. It's time to have a little input time. If it weren't for my Buddhist practice, there wouldn't be much input at all. I've had a few boughts of feeling a little blue. Perhaps it's the changing seasons, even though I simply adore fall. I also managed to wean myself off of the medication I was taking (approximately 2 months ago). I had been taking Wellbutrin for a few years prior, but for the last 9 months or so, I've only been taking it because of the resulting weight loss it afforded. I finally decided that this wasn't an excuse to keep taking it, and besides I have no prescription coverage, and it's a gazillion dollars a bottle. Drug companies, I love you. I'm so glad you exist to help people in need

Une pause to remove my tongue from my cheek.

So you know how some people have a biological clock? Well ever since I found out mine was broken, I've taken on having an automobile clock. I thought I could wait until next December when Ly and I finished paying our credit card consolidation bill (after 5 years of insane monthly payments). But now that I'm working 4 days in a row, and needing 12 million sets of sheets, my neck and shoulders are like, "yeah, right Stine." I just keep fantasizing about a nice relatively new Honda for my next birthday. Ly and I are thinking about a Civic or Accord. Thing is, at 36, I have never owned nor bought a car. I(we) need help. I want to go buy a car with someone who knows the system, knows what sales people try to push off on customers, and can tell them to take a flying leap if necessary. All I know is how much I want to spend each month, and what kind of car I want. See, I don't even know if we're supposed to go to the bank first, get the loan, and then go choose a car. Are we suppose to choose the car, and then go get the financing? I mean shit, I feel like I'm 16 in this area. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. Because if mamma can have a nice new'ish car in her driveway for her 37th birthday, mamma's gonna be real, real happy. You hear that daddy?

Seriously, you hear that?

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Friday, September 22, 2006

Ya know...

Sometimes I can be very annoying, know-it-all, busy-body. I realize that this may not be news to some of you. The last thing I ever intend to do is piss people off who just don't want to hear it. I realize that much of this may be my projections, but some of it isn't.

I worry sometimes, especially in regards to my Buddhist practice, that some people feel like I'm shoving the whole "up-with-people-positivity-you-can-create-whatever-you-want-in-your-life" in their faces. I don't want to become one of those religious fanatic types. It's hard sometimes, because very often, I tend to not view the Buddhism I practice as "religion", per se. I view it as bodywork, spirit work, vocal work, and in the end, religion - if you feel better calling it that. Thing is, Buddha was a man. He attained enlightenment in this life, in the present moment. I fully believe that anyone can create this.

I just get very zealous sometimes thinking about all the good things my practice has created in my life. I get zealous, I see people I care about suffering, and I want to help. I think I need to develop more creative nuances in how I share my experience.

I also worry sometimes (I am human and can't help it), that people think my life is all tea and cakes. Not true, at all. Things still suck, my body still hurts (a lot - but not as much as it did one month ago before I started making my physical pain a big part of my practice), I still feel extremely overwhelmed, I still get really fucking angry at a lot of things. It just seems like these emotions don't have as much control over me as they used to, which is nice. I also don't tend to post the extent of the "bad stuff" because I've been burned, a lot, when I've posted such things online in the past. Ultimately, the bottom line is, that if there is anything about me or my life that can assist someone I care about to create happiness in their own lives, then I'll do whatever it takes.

I post this disclaimer today for me. No one has spoken with me directly about any ill effects of my sometimes annoying positivity. If what I say resonates, then perhaps reading this will shed some light on my intentions, perhaps not. Ultimately, I just want the people I care about to be happy. The thing I have to remind myself of constantly is that they will be happy when they are ready to be happy, and not in accordance with my timelines.

I guess it's a good thing that I didn't get my Master's in Psychology. They say you teach best what you most need to learn.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

De Do Do Do De Da Da Da

Or so my new ringtone says. So many things going on right now. I'm going to ramble, continue at your own risk.

So speaking of ringtones, Ly and I got new cell phones yesterday. Well, I got a new one, and Ly got one for the first time. He's needed one for so long now. It will be nice to call him at the store and say, "yo, we need some chicken too." The convenience of that vision tastes sweet on my tongue. If that makes me a cheap whore, so be it. Speaking of being a cheap whore, I also bought a new printer (one that will handle more than one piece of paper at a time - what WAS I thinking?), a 4 drawer file drawer with a lock, so that all my files will fit in one file and the feng shui of my office/bedroom will clear the hell up already.

And finally, to top of my spending SPREE of yesterday(seems so far away now), I bought 2 plane tickets to ALBUQUERQUE, NM. Yes folks, 2 tickets to visit the KRAUSE HOUSE for a week during Thanksgiving. Can I get a hallelujah? I need to get. out. of. dodge. again. It is time to fly the coup and go see my bitch and her little kidlets. Ly gets to come this time (he was needfully absent last trip - as to who's need, I'll leave up to your imagination). It's going to be a martial arts/yoga/bodywork FESTIVAL. I'm very excited to geek out with my girl, cook good food, spend time with the kids, see some more of NM, and just chill.

So what precipitated this spending spree you ask? Well, I wake up two days ago, to an email in my inbox. It's from Capitol One. It says something along the lines of:

Mr. and Mrs. White (I HATE being called Mrs. White), due to your excellent payment history, we've increased your limit by XXXX dollars each year. Thank you for your continued support, blah, blah, blah. Or in other words:

Your dangerously close to paying off your credit card and we must keep you hooked into a Capitolist system that, in the end, produces only waste products. Wait, I thought I was in Beige's blog for a second, sorry. :)

The increased limit was a blessing, really. We were able to go to NM without too much bill shuffling, I'm getting some office equipment that will make billing easier, increase my output, and decrease the time I use my hands. So, yay all around.

Finally, a client of mine came in the other day. She and her partner are planning on adopting a child. They found this organization that does not discrimate based on race, gender, sexual orientation or income. It's a foster to permanent placement program. There is a one time ceritification fee. You then go through the certification process, you're apartment/house is certified. You take classes for 8 weeks...and in the end, the adoption fee is a very small percentage of your annual income. My client was telling me it's closer to 4 numbers, instead of the 5 I was thinking. So this makes me incredibly happy. I just feel more comfortable knowing there are organizations out there who work with a vast array of people.

edited to add:

Ly, you better tell people soon about your magazine writing gig

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

If you have not yet,

get thyself to see Little Miss Sunshine pronto.

It is one of the best laugh-out-loud movies I have seen in a long while.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Stream of consciousness post

So I just came home from the Kingfish Cafe here on 19th Avenue East. For our 10th anniversary, we got a $50 gift certificate. For those of you who do not know what the Kingfish is, please see here: They don't have a website

I was gonna order the bbq ribs, but they were SO outta them? I'm like shit, I really wanted pig, but reluctantly keep looking. Ly hones right in on the ribeye steak with grilled portabello mushrooms on it. The waitress comes, we start the order, and then the waitress apologizes and says they are out of the ribs. Well fuck it I say. I finally decide on the very dainty crabcakes meal. In the meantime, we entertain ourselves by ordering a mint julep for Ly, and a mojito for me. Ly's drink tasted like butter. Seriously, that fantastic white toasty foam that sometimes gets on the top of the butter - that's what his drink tasted like. He took three sips and was t.o.a.s.t. I wasn't fairing much better with the marathon mojito in a jar. But damn it was tasty. I coulda drank that shit all night.

Dinner comes, and it's delightful. Ly's stake made my nipples turn to Worchestershire sauce upon tasting. Yum! There was uninterrupted silence for about 10 minutes straight while we devoured our meals. We traded bites every three or four bites, as ya do.

We both ended up pretty silly from just one drink (damn we are cheap dates). So to sober up, we ordered two B&Bs and one order of strawberry shortcake. I'm already tipsy at this point, and the waitress says, "did you want those as a shot, or do you want the beautiful?" I'm like, what? I told the waitress I had no idea what beautiful meant, but I held my hand up like I was grasping a very delicate brandy glass, and the swished it around in a circle. She looked at me like the big fucking white girl I am, and said, "you want it beautiful". To which I replied, "honey, I always want it beautiful..." She laughed at us both, and went to get our drinks. Then the shortcake comes, and it's the size of my microwave back home. I mean this was 2 damn pounds of southern-goodness-shortbread-biscuit-mother fucking shortcake. After about 4 bites of that, my brandy, I start to get really talky. You know how Lyam, JJ, Beige, and Rob get "thinky"? Well I was getting "talky". So we paid the check and left.

We came home from dinner, and Celebrity Duets was on and we totally saw Lucy Lawless do a duet with Smokey Robinson of "OOO Baby..." (that's as much as I know the title), and guess who just got done - Friggin Randy Travis and Cheech! Cheech singing "Diggin' up bones". What is up WITH THAT? Weird. Please know I've never watched this show before. We just turned it on to be background noise while we got shit done for tomorrow i.e. dishes, doing a load of sheets (when am I NOT?), entering checks into a spreadsheet etc. Anyway, funny, yeah?

Ok, that was all really. There might be more in there somewhere. Wait, Cheech, Lea Thompson, Lucy Lawlass all got into the next round on Celebrity Duets. Fuck I love reality TV.

So I'm in here typing this post here, and I come across this headline: Is Travolta a pansy?What the fuck? Is the world really that concerned? And fer crisssakes, couldn't it just be a friend? A friendly little peck to say, "thank you for shuttling me around in one of my million dollar jets..."

Do we have NOTHING better to contemplate? I just read an article in the latest GQ - with Clive Owen on the cover thank. you. very. much. It was an article about the guy who turned in the pictures from Abu Ghirab prison. Man, his life must be hell. How would it feel to have that many people hate you? Because that's what he said happened. He hasn't been able to go home again. His wife was acosted, his family turned against him. That's some balls people.

And...I'm out.


Monday, August 28, 2006

The 3 Truths

I've been thinking a lot about



Friday, August 18, 2006

10th Anniversary

So we escaped to Port Townsend last Wednesday. It's always so powerful having a car in one's possession, when one does not own a car. Ly and I splurged and went up one size in car this time. We bought our requisite new orange juice flavored Rock Stars, and were on our way. After a few navigating mishaps around Edmonds (who did the grids for that city anyway?), we got on the Ferry and made it to the hotel in Port Townsend. The cool picture of the hotel is on our other camera that we've yet to fill. We stayed at the Swan, and the picture is of Ly perched atop the block in front of the hotel sign being his usual fowl'y self.

Here is the room we stayed in:

and from the other way:
who's that cutie on the bed?

So verdict, LOVE Port Townsend. I highly suggest it to anyone who wants to get out of town. What a great city. It's just big enough, artsy, on the water, has lots of kitch shops, good food, and plenty of beaches - plus a marine petting zoo to boot.

So Ly and I zone out on cable our first night there. And let me tell you, watching cable is like crack to those not partaking of cable at home. So we zoned out on beer, happy, and the jucuzzi tub.

Next thing we new, it was morning:
Ly got toasty, and yes I didn't post the picture I knew you wouldn't want people to see

Because you see, I am a nice girl.

We had some breakfast and around 1'ish went to the Marine Science Center. And here are some pictures from that venture:

Ly & the Starfish
Stine recognizes something familiar

here are the weirdest creatures in the world:
Sea Cucumbers

and I touched one:

after having really gross nachos and chicken strips at the beach food place we walked along the beach:
Double Awe

you could really tell we were in love:
Even though I look like Howard Stern just got a haircut

I even made a little heart sandlecastle with which to display my love:

and then made him take a picture of me in it so we could be even:
so nice

We then came back to the hotel, got ready and went to a lovely dinner at Fins. I had King Crab Legs, and the RULED! But the final verdict, to much work for so little yield. Ly's fishy sauce was tasty, and we accompanied the dinner with a few Ruby Red Mojitos. We then came home, proceeded to get very silly on some good champagne, took a lovely jet soak in tub that fit us both filled with epsom salts, bubblebath, and more champagne. Then it was time for the sex, again.

We woke up early the next morning, watched an X-Files marathon, and took a leisurely drive home.


Thursday, August 17, 2006

That Mo Can Dance

My little Benji won.

I cried.

I love him

Anniversary pictures forthcoming.

Happy Birthday JJ

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Buh Bye

As I sit here looking at my husband's cute-as-hell naked ass as he makes the bed, I can't help but be excited as we leave for the anniversary vaca. It went and got all rainy though. So we may not be doing as much swimming and lounging at the beach as we'd hoped, but hey, if all there is to do is watch cable, get happy, soak in the jacuzzi, and have sex - I'd be ok with that.

Ok, must go, Ly is voguing on the bed showing me his plump round firmness.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

A veritable Battlestar

Thank you Beige and B for getting me hooked on this crack. We just watched the final episode of season 1, and oh. my. god.

PS - Starbuck is H.O.T.

If one more person cancels on me with less than 24 hours notice, be it for a massage, or working for me at home, or to chat, or whatever, I'm gonna to lose it. It's just inconsiderate. I don't understand why people can't communicate. I'm like, be sick, take a mental health day, do whatever the fuck you need to do, but LET ME KNOW FOR CHRIST'S sake. It's not hard to pick up a phone and communicate. Why can't people do what they say they are going to do? I'm done.

And yes, in case you were wondering, that IS my martyr complex you are stepping on.

Happy Birthday Sis!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A Roasty Posty Day

aka "Why is Mercury still in retrograde - I don't care what anyone says, and why has everyone I've come in contact with today been living on Pluto until the moment they encountered me?"

Thing #1:
I've NEVER had a client that I wouldn't schedule for another massage. I had one today. So first off, this dude is about 6'4, about two fitty, sporting a dead ringer David Hasslehoff doo', Tom Selleck mustache, and an attitude. Dude's suppose to be an insurance client. I tell ALL insurance clients that they will need to come 10 minutes early to fill out a health history form, and the insurance paperwork. I'm out at the front desk, where I come and retrieve all my clients before thier massages. His appointment time comes around, no dude. I shove lunch down my throat while waiting for him. As I'm downing my last bit of salad, Magnum PI comes up to the front desk in a SPEEDO,with my card in his sweating hand. He asks the front desk chick where I'm at. I come up to him, introduce myself, give him the paperwork as he curtly tells me he's been waiting in my massage room for the last ten minutes. The massage room that has all the other personal client files I was dealing with for today. I tell him I've been waiting up front with his paperwork for the last 15 minutes. This, of course, gives me a clear view of where this entire session is heading. I lead him back to the massage room, he pulls out his referral and insurance card for me to copy. It's an insurance plan in which I'm not a participating provider. I tell him this, he's say to me, "I thought your sign said you took(name of company)insurance." I very calmly, because you see, I am a very good actress, "No, it doesn't."

He hemmed and hawed at this news for awhile. He then asked me how much my time of service fee was. I told him, he agreed to pay that, and he immediately dropped his Speedo in front of me. My eyes widen horrifically at being Full Montied(and bless his heart I might add), I look him directly in the eyes and say, "You will wait to undress until I am out of the room." He bullies his way into the moment and asks if he should get on the table - I haven't even gone over his intake form yet. I'm so wanting to get out of the room I decided to let him, and then take even more time when I came back in, to do the health history. Remember, we're already starting about 10-15 minutes late.

I come back in the room, take 5 more minutes and go over his history form while he's face down on the table. He proceeds to diatribe me with the "exact" locations I should work, the exact way I should work, and where the problems were. I listened without saying much. I then began the massage.

Long story even longer, I made him cry like a baby. He didn't really cry, but I made him shout uncle more than once. Disclaimer: This is never my direct intention, just a by-product of some of the work I do. I decided not to put a damper on my deep tissue impulses with him. It was an S&M massage, and not in a good way. I think his body finally acquiesced, and his body and I came to an understanding. I finished the massage, and he ended up not having any checks, and only had about 2/3's of the massage's price in cash. He asked if he could send a check to my "office address", and I told him no as the last thing I was going to do was send him my home address. I told him to send the rest to the fitness center. I don't care if I ever get it, and if he calls again, I will kindly direct him to a 6'3, 300lb firefighter LMP I know.

Thing #2:
I rush out of the above appointment, pull out my metro information to go to an acupuncture appointment with someone I was going to start doing trades with. Get on the bus, as I'm on the bus I call Ly and ask him to check my email for me - which I am known to do. He does, and one email is from the aforementioned acupuncturist saying that due to some communication errors (it's a long story, but suffice it to say we both knew when the appointment was, that is was "suppose" to take place, that she had already cancelled on me once before with less than 24 hours notice), she would not be at the office as she wasn't sure I got the email with her office address. I lose my shit to Ly over the phone, and in front of a bus full of strangers. I get off the bus, and proceed to leave her a very respectful, yet clearly outlining my present anger issues at the situation, voicemail. I storm to ACT, grab Ly to go find something to buy that could be ingested (Starbucks, for those who were wondering), and let loose with the pressure build-up that this day had come to represent. By the way, thanks honey.

I am now here, sitting in my dark bedroom, with the blinds drawn, where no people are, debating a strategy for going back out into that vast chaos that is today as we have no food and I need to go shopping.


better...thanks for listening


So uhm yeah, I finally made a plan to drag my ass to the store. I got to the store, shopped for about an hour and a half, got to the checkstand, the checker rang everything up, I looked in my purse, my wallet was absent. I had my business checkbook, I was safe, or so I thought. Wrote the check, the checker tried to put it through, the "machine" apparently didn't recognize the check, thinking it was the first check written out of that account (so confused about this one). The machine keeps beeping at me telling me to slide my license through. I tell the checker I forgot my wallet, the checker calls a supervisor. Meanwhile, the 3 people behind me, who all had full grocery carts, begin to fidget and try to keep thier friendly smiles. What seems like a gazillion hours later, the supervisor comes over, knows I am a regular customer because they had taken my Safeway card number earlier, and refuses to put the check through because I didn't have my license. I breathe, say fine, take my check, and systematically proceed to dump out my 2 cloth shopping bags, and leave the 3 other grocery bags in the cart for them to put away.

Actually, at this point, I can do nothing but laugh at the debacle that was today. I guess that's good.

Another Tarot Meme (but this one is cooler)

Because it lists your outcomes by percentages.

You scored as III - The Empress. The Empress is a maternal symbol. She is
the mother figure who loves, nurtures and protects. She will protect you, she will always be there when you are in trouble. When you fall over and graze your knee, the Empress will kiss it better. Yet she is not a weak figure. Her compassion is strength. If her children are threatened she will stop at nothing to protect them.
If well aspected in a Tarot spread, the Empress can symbolise security, protection and unconditional love. If badly aspected it can represent over-protectiveness,
fear of risk taking and refusal to face the real world.

III - The Empress


VIII - Strength


II - The High Priestess


IV - The Emperor


VI: The Lovers


I - Magician


XIII: Death


XVI: The Tower


XI: Justice


XIX: The Sun


0 - The Fool


X - Wheel of Fortune


XV: The Devil


Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Jingle Test Answers

1. "Just for the fun of it...(DIET COKE)"
2. "If you've got the time, we've got the beer (MILLER BEER)"
3. "Celebrate the moments of your life." (GENERAL FOODS INTERNATIONAL COFFEE)
4. "Sorry, Charlie." (STARKIST TUNA)
5. "In the valley of the jolly ho-ho-ho, (GREEN GIANT)"
6. "Sugar Bear can't get enough." (SUGAR CRISP CEREAL)
7. "Fruit Chewy, (FIG NEWTONS)"
8. "America spells cheese (K.R.A.F.T.)"
9. "It's (SLINKY), it's (SLINKY), oh what a wonderful toy."
10. "Ancient Chinese secret." (CALGON LAUNDRY DETERGENT)

1. Pork – The Other White Meat
2. Winston cigarettes – Winston tastes good like a cigarette should
3. Oscar Meyer Hot Dogs – I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
4. Burger King in the 80's – The one I was specifically thinking of was “Where’s the Beef? – But I will give all answers credit as I wasn’t specific
5. Honey Nut Cheerios – It’s a honey of an O; it’s Honey Nut Cheerio’s
6. Faberge Organic Shampoo – And she’ll tell two friends, and so on, and so on
7. Raisin Bran – Two scoops of Raisins
8. Hamm's Beer – From the land of sky blue water
9. Big Red Gum – Kiss a little longer with Big Red
10. Klondike Bars – What would you do for a Klondike Bar

Friday, July 21, 2006

Jingle Test

I'm going to do some jingles, and then I will put products down and you come up with the jingle line. Don't cheat. I'll wait for people to post some answers, and then I'll type the answers out in a few days.

1. "Just for the fun of it...(insert product name here)"
2. "If you've got the time, we've got the beer (insert product name here)"
3. "Celebrate the moments of your life." (Product)
4. "Sorry, Charlie." (Product)
5. "In the valley of the jolly ho-ho-ho, (Product Name)"
6. "Sugar Bear can't get enough." (Product Name)
7. "Fruit Chewy, (Insert product name here)"
8. "America spells cheese (Insert spelling here)"
9. "It's (product), it's (product), oh what a wonderful toy."
10. "Ancient Chinese secret." (Product)

1. Pork
2. Winston cigarettes
3. Oscar Meyer Hot Dogs
4. Burger King in the 80's
5. Honey Nut Cheerios
6. Faberge Organic Shampoo
7. Raisin Bran
8. Hamm's Beer
9. Big Red Gum
10. Klondike Bars

K - Go

Values from Hound

Your Values Profile


You value loyalty a fair amount.
You're loyal to your friends... to a point.
But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties.
Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself.


You don't really value honesty.
You do value getting your way, no matter what.
And if a little lying is required to do that, no problem.
A few white lies never hurt anyone (at least, that's what you tell yourself!)


You value generosity highly.
So much so that you often put your own needs last.
There's nothing wrong with having a caring heart...
But you may want to rethink your "open wallet" policy.


You value humility a fair amount.
You tend to be an easy going, humble person.
But occasionally your ego takes over.
You have a slight competitive streak - and the need to be the best.


You value tolerance highly.
Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you...
You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends.
You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

An Ex-Mo'ey Mish Mosh

There are tons of small things I'm wanting to post about. I've started a few drafts, and decided to combine everything. So this is going to be like leftover night when you were growing up. A little mac and cheese with hot dogs, a little spaghetti, last night's mixed vegetables you couldn't bear to throw away, some about to turn pears, all topped with a nice glass of kool-aid.

So Ly wakes up this morning to water spraying out of the ceiling fan in our bathroom. That's good times. I call and leave a message for the landlord, and am currently in a holding pattern. It's died down, a lot. But there is still a small trickle. I have to wait until she calls back before I can go into work. Our ceiling looks like it got burned with battery acid, the entire apartment more humid than usual, in that northwest mossy sort of way. I wandered around the house with my bloomers on, tits to the wind, in that "got violently pulled out of a very satisfying dream" state. My face eventually uncrinkled, I kissed Ly, and sent him on his way to work. Tried to go back to sleep, to no avail. Got up and chanted for a half hour, and well, the world is a different place.

Speaking of chanting and the world being a different place. Last Monday I came home from a full day of massaging. I was in so much pain, I couldn't sit up, I couldn't move my right hand, and I just cried. I worked just one muscle in my right shoulder (the levator scapulae - for those of you wanting to know such things), I propped myself up, decided I was sick and tired of being a slave to pain, chanted and cried for 45 minutes. At the end of my chanting session, I had absolutely no pain, could move my fingers, and stand. I hear all these medical stories in the SGI. Stories of epileptics becoming asymptomatic after chanting for a year, AIDS victims who have faced death multiple times (as in had a T cell count of 13 - that's very low), and are still here to talk about it. One of the stories that first really got me into considering becoming a Buddhist, was the story of a woman who had cancer in her entire larynx(voicebox). She had to have the entire thing removed. She obviously had no voice after this. Despite having no voice, she chanted by pushing air through her mouth, and moving her lips. After 2 years of "chanting", this woman went back to the doctor, they did a laryngeal scope, and her body had grown scar tissue that was functioning as vocal cords. The woman could totally speak. Come hell or high water, I am going to get a handle on this pain. My mind is going to heal my body, that's all there is to it.

See, this shit fascinates the hell outta me. Quantum physics, string theory, particle-wave duality, multiple dimensions - GOOD TIMES! I think the bottom line, is that by the end of my life, I just want to be able to put my hands on people, and have them be well. I wanna move things with my mind. You wait man, you wait.

Ok, so I wish I were in Albuquerque. I miss my friends. And the kids are so cute, they're killing. Ladies, have one for me, K?

I also wanted to post a thing about anger. I decided to scrap my draft, and just condense some stuff. I've just really been trying to reconcile the fact that I'm an angry bitch sometimes. Uhm, yeah, whatever peanut gallery. Seriously, I'm like Stine, get your mind off your own damn self for a second. Then I do that, and the anger dissipates (doesn't leave, but dissipates). I've been trying to work it more where I can transform the shit, before it becomes destructive. It's still the same energy, but it creates something different, if that makes sense. I fail at it, often. But at least I can practice for the rest of my life.

I was going to post something about women and anger in relation to growing up Mormon, but decided to scrap most of that too. Yes, there are issues, yes, women are marginalized, undercut, loved and, at times, respected. But they are also not given the same consideration, on a large scale, as men. But you know, guess the only choice I have is to tranform that too. Don't know if any of that made any sense, but it was satisfying to type.

So the last thing I wanted to post about was jingles. I got a bunch of old commercial jingles in my head the other day, and was like, I should do a jingle test. So I'm gonna make one up, and post it in a bit.


Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Anniversary plans, and various other asundry volleys

So the hound and I finally have our anniversary plans secured. And before I tell you where we are going and what we are doing, I should mention that we have never been on a vacation that hasn't involved friends or family members. We are going to be disappearing to The Swan in Port Townsend, Washington. I think the name of our hotel is quite apropos considering Ly just got done playing one. I just found out from my friend E who is here working with me, that An Officer and a Gentleman was filmed in Port Townsend. Who knew?

So let's see, the past week has been spent working, and on about 3 or 4 sunny days, lounging by the pool at our apartment complex. Even though our pool has a slight "Motel 6 back in the 60's" feel, they refinished the pool tiles, drained it a few times, and it's been good to go.

My Buddhist friend R went to the UK for almost 2 weeks. Before she left, she asked me if I wouldn't mind borrowing her car for that time. I'm like, uhm...wait a minute...I need to really think about this...


So we've had a car for the past week, and will have it until next Monday. My body SO needs a car. It's been so nice to not have to drag my little roller bag of sheets to the chiropractor's each week. Although, note to Stine and Ly, when buying your own car - leg room, and more importantly head room of utmost importance. Little cars are not made for cervically impaired (thank you Eileen) Amazon girls.

In other travelling news, I think Ly and I have also finally decided that one way or another, we will be able to go to Albuquerque for Thanksgiving to visit Ms. Krause. This of course, makes me giddy. Yoga classes, turkey, chilling, breezy drives, playing with the kidlets, all sounds delightful. So I am very excited about that.

Universe, please tell the massage people to send me my money. K?

I also wish Ly would tell about his Buddhist news.

Monday, July 03, 2006


Just to clarify, I drink alcohol sometimes. I am not trying to lump everyone who drinks alcohol into the same bag. In my experience, the majority of people who have gone off to me about smoking, have been conservatives who see nothing wrong with having a bottle of merlot each night. That is all.

Friday, June 30, 2006

It's a mixed bag (rants ahead)

No jokes about purses and skin please. And fyi, I'm going to go off in a minute, so if you think you might be offended, don't read on.

Ly and I went to Breitenbush last weekend. We had a lovely time. UMO ensemble got a lot accomplished at their retreat, and Ly and I got to soak and play in the natural hot springs. It was great this time because we went to the medicine wheel in the morning before breakfast. This is the place under a grove of trees, where there are 4 stone tubs with different minerals in each. Each tub gradually got hotter, and then across the platform was the cold plunge that is constantly filled with very chilly river water. A few times through the entire process, and I think it is safe to say you are walking on sunshine. We rented a nice little PT Cruiser knock off, and had a good road trip on the way down, and back.

Been working like a dog ever since.

Cut to today. If this is repeat information for anyone, feel free to skip ahead. So for the last year and a half, I have experienced pain, numbness and muscle weakness in my right arm. Went to a bunch of doctors, did a bunch of tests, and ended up with some cervical herniated and bulging disks. Got a cervical epidural last August which helped immensely. My symptoms increase when I sit at a computer (hence my decreased posting). My symptoms also increase (not as much) when I have a long day of massage. I am doing every PT exercise known to man, I work out, I get chiropractic adjustments, do massage and acupuncture, ice, work on myself, and everything in between. Currently, I get spasms in my right hand with my middle and ring fingers. They are so bad that I have to pry my fingers open. This happens 4 or 5 times a week. I get medial scapula pain so bad I can't even hold my head up at the end of the day some days. Sometimes, the fingers of my right hand don't even feel like they are able to get any nerve impulse to tell them to move. All of the symptoms make for a very hard time in, billing, doing dishes etc., being happy and bright, and not wanting to cut my head off. I have gone through every medication known to man. Some have helped a bit, some make me drowsy and more retarded than usual(all the percocet and narcotics), some make me irritable, most make me not able to poop (and those of you that know me know that I HATE it when I can't poop). In addition, narcotics are WAY harsh on your liver, and mine can't afford it any more.

So that is the history. I haven't had percocet for this condition since the end of last year. I am at loathe to get another prescription for it. My pain, at it worst, would totally qualify for another percocet prescription. Since I really don't want one, I'm trying other options.

What I have found that works best for the pain, the trigger points, and mostly the spasming, is coming home after a day of massaging, icing my neck, taking some naproxen, and smoking a little medical marijuana. Medical marijuana is technically legal in Washington state (or I should say, at least the voters made it law). I have wanted to do things on the up and up, so I went to my spine doctor to see if he would sign my medical marijuana letter. He understood my plight, but alas, would not. He claimed he didn't like the lingo that was on the recommendation letter that was drafted by the medical board of the state of Washington. He said he would be happy to talk to another doctor that would be willing to sign the letter. He said he would give any history as to my condition, and help in whatever way he could - other than signing my letter.

So I go see my primary care physician the other day. I was faced, yet again, with another pussy doctor who is afraid of getting sued. Sidenote: There was a just a bill passed by Congress stating that doctors couldn't be touched for recommending medical marijuana. I started crying right there in her office. I was like, "so, you'd rather give me a percocet prescription and send me on my way than give me a recommendation for a naturally grown herb that helps just as much with MORE symptoms, and is far less harsh to my system?" She was like, "well, yes." She told me that it was partly a legal fear, and partly that she doesn't know enough about it.

This, I believe, is what is totally fucked up about our conservative, back-assed, litigious society. It's not even logical. That someone can go out, have six beers, drive home, killing a pedestrian on the way(this happened to one of the founders of a local naturopath school here in Seattle), and yet I can't have medication that helps me open my fingers so I can write to do my billing and make a living, is f.u.c.k.e.d.

In the end, my doctor ended up printing out my spine doctor's notes, and writing a letter that states that I have cervical radiculopathy with chronic spasming and pain, and that I use medical marijuana to alleviate the symptoms. So hopefully this letter will be all I need. It doesn't say what the other letter said, but it will do, for now.

(beware generalizations follow)

It is my hope, that some day, this back-assed thinking can be changed. Perhaps I am niave in hoping that the conservatives, those who have NEVER even tried marijuana, those who know NOTHING of it's effects, and anyone else who falls in between those cracks, can re-evaluate their judgments, their biases, their ridiculous assumptions about who people that smoke marijuana are. Because I'm tired of fighting. The current polictical regime, and the armies of conservatives, and the religious right that follow them are creating a world of hate, judgment, and evil unlike their bible has ever known.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

I'm an addict

and yes, insert your noun of preference here. Whatever will make you giggle the most.

I've come to the conclusion that I am a reality show addict. I'm not the type of addict who will watch every single reality show out there. I mean I've never even seen an entire episode of Survivor. But I choose wisely, and when I fall, I fall fast and hard. I would assume it would be like heroin addicts that first time they taste the sweet sweet drip.

Cut to last Wednesday. I was home, doing billing, stretching, chillin' doing my thing, when an episode of So You Think You Can Dance comes on. At first I did your typical, "oh shit just another reality show..." I say this being a former hardcore, and current softcore American Idol addict. I continued to watch, and shitballs on Sunday, I kid you not, those bitches could MOVE! My friend L comes over to hang, and I'm like dood, you have GOT to watch this. So within ten minutes she was hyped, jumping up and down on the still-new-to-us-terra-cotta-80's couch, critiquing their moves, and getting as into it as I was.

On to the contestants, you have two sistahs who have bodies to DIE for. They were both toned, big-bootied, energetic, amply endowed with the breastages, and both were spoting an attitude of sex and funk. There is this nice little contestant named Benji. He served a 2-year mission for his church. I'll give you three guesses what church that may be. I first look at him (he is the West Coast Swing champion), and think nah, whatever. I then see him swing dance, and that boy moves like lightening. But then, no wait...seriously....then last night comes around. He and one of the aforementioned hot sistahs do this ass lovin', big booty, hip-hip dance that went a million miles an hour. My little Mo' Benji tore it UP! Nigel, (Simon Cowell's dance counterpart for those of you keeping track)looked at Benji after he was done and in his perfect Brittish accent said, "uhm...son, does your church know you can dance like that?"

The boy can dance, but he's got a long way to go in discovering all about his homosexuality. There was a couple last night who did the Passe Doble. My intial reaction was one of, ok, whatever, this is the classicalesque piece they need in the show. I sat on the couch watching this, with my jaw on the floor, and about 1/2 way through it, sobbing. It was one of the most amazing things I've seen.

I could go on and on, but that would bore you. Needless to say, I have a new favorite to keep me cool during those harsh warm summer month.

In other news:

Just bought a new blender. This has been coming for years now. To get our old one to work, you would have to do an incantation, bang the blender on it's side 3 times, unplug it, plug it back in to another outlet, set it upright, and sweet talk the pitcher portion of the blender.

I just finished with another fascial structural session with the woman I consider a big mentor in my bodywork. So get this, my neck hurts bad. It always does, but my icky discs were speaking to me quite loudly today. I'm in my appointment, this woman has me in my bra and underwear. The better to see one's structure, and how the different parts of the body are moving and relating to one another. She touches my belly to see how it moves, she touches my diaphragm (the one that bisects my abdomen Beige), lays me on the table, and proceeds to pick up my rectus abdominus - for those of you following along, this is the muscle in the front of your belly that goes from your pubis to your xyphoid process (which is the bottom of your breast bone). She has her fingers about an inch under my rectus, squeezes inward, picks up the fascia connecting all the way down to my pubis and proceeds to lift it about 2 inches towards my head. She follows this up with doing some cross fiber friction where that muscle attaches at the pubis, and having me rotate my pelvis so there is more of a pull. She then does some fascial release work on my diaphragm, low back, and gluts. She has me stand up, and in addition to feeling really high (I wasn't), my pelvis had shifted about one or two inches downward and out of the sway back position. I then walk around a bit, and my neck pain is all but gone. She hadn't even touched my neck yet.

The Anatomy Trains, and fascial release work fascinates the hell outta me. It does make for interesting conversation when trying to explain to a client having neck pain why you may need to work their pubis. Loves me some bodywork.

Wow, that was a long post. I better stop while I'm ahead and not feeling any neck pain, as being on the computer usually exaccerbates it. Mwah!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

100th Post (Of Couches and Men)

I feel like I should have a party with my cast or something.

Ok, so, let's see. What's been up lately? Well, Ly and I inherited two lovely leather couches. A friend of ours has some fairly well off clients, and one of these clients just happened to be getting rid of a leather couch and love seat. As many of you may know, (the ice cream truck just drove by and I started to salivate. It's amazing what a visceral cellular response that was. My body remembered from when I was a kid)...anyway we've only had one love seat for our whole living room for many years. This is due to the evilness of the lady we will call "Repo Woman". I used to work with her at the insurance company back in the day. Anyway, she was the most vocal Republican I used to work with (most were Republican or at least fiscally conservative). Anyway, she used to give me shit all the time about Al Gore, and "my buddy" losing the race. She was just all around obnoxious and thick. Anyway, she ended up getting a couch that the company was giving away, even though she was new to the company, and I had had professional "dibs" if you will on the couch. The company had to get rid of a lot of old furniture, and I made it known to everyone in the office that I wanted to buy the couch. Her trust fund baby girl got it because she was so down and out in college, with an old ratty couch (Ly and I had none). Not that I'm still bitter or anything.

Anyway, where the hell was I. Oh yeah, so this couch and love seat were real leather, albeit 80's terra cotta. But ya know, beggars can't be choosers, and they ARE real leather. I had a moment of wondering if that made Ly and I incredibly un-pc. Who knows. Anyway 4 wonderful boys, one of which was our dear own Beige, helped us move them, and thank God because those bitches were heavy.

But damn, I just lie full down on the couch, and my whole Amazon body fits nicely and comfortably into the couch. No more V-back for Stine. Hell jah! Plus, very sturdy arm rests in front of the living room mirros - well you do the math.

Ly and I will be heading to Breitenbush in about a week and a half. It will be a nice weekend of soaking, relaxing, hiking, chanting, and sleeping. I can't wait. It will be a very interesting to experience that place with another group of people, since I'm so used to going with massage people. It will be nice to get out of Seattle, and I love roadtrips of any sort.

The school finally sold. We got/will get our bonuses. Mine had a minor math mistakes that would take way too long to explain. Needless to say, they are sending me another one, hopefully asap. That was a very nice surprise.

Ly now knows how to upload music to the computer, he put 3 more CD's on the IPod. He was like, man, it's like having a radio station that doesn't suck. He then gave a bit of a chuckle and a mumbled, "well...other than..." And I'm like, "Dude, Journey makes you very well rounded. Those Neil Diamond songs give you street cred. You can still have your "Kills", your "Sleepytime Gorilla Mausoleum", your "These Arms are Cakes"..." Anyway, I was right, created a monster. Very cute to watch.

There is a possibility of doing some vocal coaching/vocal music directing with a small group here in town. I have to go check it out on Monday, but this new band just wants an outside ear to give feedback about how they can be more concise. So that might be cool if it all works out.

Found out at the school bonus party that two of my favorite instructors are going to get together their own craniosacral certification program. They want to try and make it fly in 2007. If that's the case, I'm SO there. I was thinking of doing the structural analysis training, but that can wait. Honestly, whichever class works out best is the one I'm supposed to be in.

Been doing some interesting thought exercises in viscerally embracing the problems that come up in my life lately. It's been very interesting. Just totally saying yep, there you are, go off all you want, I'm here to make it work. More on that later.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Some things suck, some things don't

Since I can’t seem to manage a full post, I’m going to make one of my
“Things that suck, and things that don’t lists.

Things that suck today:

My neck and arm are in pain
Client cancellations
Dry gooless salad
Feeling nauseous while giving a massage
Cranky husbands who teach me a lot about myself
Mountains of paperwork
Having to return a movie back unwatched (Ly and I were having one of our “in between the Netflix” joneses” and didn’t know our limit)
Having to tell the visiting teachers that I didn’t want any more contact
Feeling bad about how I handled a situation with a fellow Buddhist
Feeling nauseous and faint on the bus home
That I didn’t get a birthday card in the mail for my father, who’s birthday is tomorrow
The degenerative state of the polish on my toenail claws

Things that don’t suck today:

Helping a client feel better who has been having many horrid health issues going on
My leetle friend
Gay Marriage Ban Falls Short
Best friends who listen, validate when appropriate, and let you go off
Cranky husbands who teach me a lot about myself
Friends taking steps to make their lives better
Husbands who send writing samples of their CD reviews to music critics at the local weekly rag
Getting friendly with myself
Getting shit done
Hopes of good things in the mail
Thinking back to Monday night when the Hound came home all testosteroned out, 12-years old, high as a kite on endorphins talking excitedly a mile a minute after his first kickboxing/mixed martial arts class.
Thoughts of later taking a nice long bath, and rubbing heating massage goo on my body, and watching a Buffy that I’ve seen 600 times.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The Happiest Birthday

To my love, the Hound.


Saturday, May 27, 2006

Ground Control to Major Tom

I am here at the chiropractor's. Today is my last Saturday working here. I will now be here only Mondays and Fridays. So I will be doing massage 4 days a week, with an occasional massage at my house on Saturdays. I thought about feeling bad about this for a bit, but then I remembered that I am a people pleasing kiss-ass who always thinks she needs to be doing "something". My body will thank me.

Ly's birthday is this coming Tuesday. Tomorrow we are having a little fete at our place. Just a few close friends, some good eats, much relaxation and carousing. Ly and I were gonna cook, but work has run away with both of us, and neither of us has the energy to do up the Asian feast we were originally planning. So I think we're going to order out. Does that suck? Does it totally ruin our quasi-urban-hippie-eastern-Buddhist chic? Any ideas on party games that would totally embarass Lyam, and make him feel old? Some that I came up with are:

Blindfolded Twister
Strip Super Scrabble
Prostate Massage in 5 easy steps
Who's the biggest fag in the room?

I saw my friend M and her new 6 week old baby yesterday. We used to work together at the massage school. The little one is SO cute. I love massaging little babies backs and bellies. They have so few conscious restrictions to how their bodies experience any sort of bodywork, it's very refreshing. I find that little babies really love cranialsacral work. They especially like it while they are still in-utero. I will put my hands on the mother's belly, listen for the cranial rhythm, and within moments the little one is grooving to the cranial rhythm and doing backflips. Of course, this sometimes pisses off the mother, but what are you gonna do?

So I am very happy with what I bought Ly for his birthday. He has 2 presents coming, one at his party tomorrow, and the best one coming Tuesday on his actual birthday. He's gonna be happy, and he's gonna be a monster. That's all I will say.

Been reading a book called Certain Women, by Madelaine L'Engle. She is the author of my all time favorite children's book A Wrinkle in Time. It's about actors, about men, about the bible (strangely enough), and about trust in oneself and others. Very interesting. I must talk to my friend R, who sent me this book a few months ago.

Still trying to plan something for the old man's and my 10th anniversary in August? Anyone been to the San Juans? Which one would you recommend? Any experience with inexpensive yet elegant bed and breakfasts? I heard a bed and breakfast horror story the other day. A friend of mine, went to Orcas Island, stayed in a bed and breakfast with Cathy Bates in Misery. My friend was woken up at 5am in the morning as she slept on the couch, by aforementioned psycho lady. The hostess was screaming at her inquiring as to whether my friend and her counterparts had invited people over the previous night, partied, and totally messed up the place. My friend and her people had come home from their job (they were doing a temporary catering gig), had a few beers (there were like 6 of them), and then gone to bed. And here this bitch is at 5 in the morning interrogating my friend. I would have got up, politely said "please shut the fuck up", and stuck my fist where the sun don't shine.

So I don't want to stay there. But Ly and I NEED to get away from the city for our anniversary. Any ideas and thoughts would be welcome.

Last night we watched a movie called "Trouble Every Day". I swear to God, my friggin husband and his penchant for artsy horror shock flicks. It's a damn good thing I was as adjusted as I was, or I would have had an infarction. The movie's going along fine, very interesting interpersonal drama, two people start having sex, and then the bitch eats this guy's face off. Yes, it's true. I immediately covered my eyes of course, but I hear her giggling with glee as I decide to take a look, and see a piece of the dude's lip hanging from her gullet. WTF? My God, WHY? WHY?

And on that note, on to my next client.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Estrogen levels at an all time high

While I myself, am not at an all time high. You ever have those days where you are pms'ing so bad that if someone says hello, or how are you with just the right inflection, you will burst into tears? Well today is that day.

I seriously did not want to get out of bed today. I'm not depressed, I'm not sick (read "ill"), I just felt the urge to hibernate and not talk to anyone today. Of course I get here to the chiropractor's and I have 5 massages. Thank you, thank you powers that be, but let's just say that today, work is a good acting exercise. My first appointment was entirely craniosacral though, so that put me in better spirits. I just feel my damn womb ready to burst, and it's annoying me. It's like I feel that anyone's gaze will burn a hole into my chest. While on the phone, I swore and yelled at the lady from the cab company, which I was calling because I missed my fucking bus by like 5 seconds. It was one of those bus driving away while I try to run with my pathetic little roller bag full of my lunch, 6 sets of sheets, my accordian file folder full of client files. Time slowed, my curses were drowned out by my heart beating from sprinting with my bag - it wasn't pretty. So needless to say, I was in a mood when I called the cab from the bus stop. Why are cab dispatchers some of the surliest, bitchiest, not getting laidest mother fuckers around? This bitch was like, "that's not a real address..." I'm like, "yes it fucking is." The difference was that I was saying Thomas East, and she apparently wanted me to say East Thomas. Instead of inquiring as to whether east thomas might be the correct address, she got all cunty. Therefore, so did I. I'm not saying I'm proud of it, but there you have it.

So on a lunch break now. Going to do my 4 other rubs, go home, have a simple yet filling dinner, rub some melty goo all over my body, chant, adjust my attitude, and relax. The only thing missing from that equation is a hot tub. Well, and we need to work in the requisite pre-menstrual sex. You read that last statement Ly? Good.

/end ranty bitchiness

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Computer woah, woah, woahs

As I sit here, my CD drive keeps opening and closing by itself, at different intervals. It would seem to be possessed, or just trying to ask for something. But I'm not sure how to respond. Ideas?

In addition, my damn blog roll has seen better days. It doesn't seem to be updating, again. I mean, I go away, things are fine, all settings on blogroll are good to go. I come back, and wallah, the whole thing's down the shitter. What gives?

Meanwhile, Ly and I saw Mission Impossible III the other day. Gotta give JJ props, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman was a great bad guy. Ving Rhames was hilarious, Jonathan Rhys Meyers was a sleek pumpkin of a thing. The girls were ok, Keri Russell was good, albeit in a brief stay sort of way. Very actiony goodness, Cruise is the same rippling lunatic he's always been, only worse because of the crazy shit he's pulled in the last little while. Megalomania anyone? Saw the trailer for Nacho Libre, after which I needed a bib. Wow is all I can say.

(the time is 4:19 pm)

and...............wait for it.....


I've decided that the character I'd play in an action movie, would be the big trucker girl in flannel. She'd go out and rescue all the people in the burning cars, after the missiles had attacked the freeway - or something like that.

Damnit, stop it you stupid CD's starting to freak me out, man.

* Edited to say that the blogroll is now functional.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I'm a voyeur

So the couple next door to our bedroom is TOTALLY going at it right now. Girl is moaning a symphony. Is it a bad thing that I'm listening, paying attention, and mildly entertained?

Monday, May 01, 2006

email weirdness

Anyone trying to get ahold of me in the next few days, please cc my gmail address as well. It's My other email is acting funky, for now.

A two-legged doggie & a vodka cran - to go please

So look what I saw the other night on Inside Edition:


Edited to say: The link is fixed now

I cried, and cried, and cried. They showed pictures of the little thing as a puppy, standing up on it's two hind legs with these big ears, and two doe eyes looking at you just begging to be petted. Fuck though, if I were a two-legged dog, I'd be up on my hind legs begging to be petted as well. Hell, I ain't even a dog and I'm ALWAYS begging to be petted.

So the show is garnering some controversy. One of my clients, who works for the City of Seattle, told me that there had been a protestor in front of City Hall a few different days this past week. It was a single gentleman, who was protesting the fact that our show Woman/Girl was being linked to on the City's "Things to do in Seattle" section of their website. He claimed they were linking to "porn". I'm sure he's not even read nor found out anything about the show. That's the way these things work, right? Anyway, this dude apparently called KOMO news, the news folks called the City of Seattle, and from there, I'm not sure what has happened. But hey, a little controversy is good for the soul, right? The talkbacks after the matinees have been interesting. Despite some flaws, the show is bringing up a lot of issues for people. Issues of rating pedophilia/sex crimes, for example: female to female crimes aren't generally considered as "dangerous", "problematic" as male to female crimes. The age of consent varies from state to state. I also found out that the laws for heterosexual and homosexual age of consent laws vary. In many states the age of consent is higher for boys. Suffice it to say, the issues this play addresses, have been bringing up a lot of debate.

I'm starting to feel like I can breathe again in regards to my time, and getting my shit done. Why oh why is "getting my shit done" so fucking important to me. Again I have to thank my mother. I'm just a control freak, that's pretty much the end of it. Ly is not allowed to comment on that last statement. I want to focus on bringing in the bank so we can get Ly into a martial arts class asap. He, and in turn I, am so much happier when he has an outlet, with which to channel all the kinesthetic energy that lives in his body. And hopefully, with hard work and a little luck, we can have a friggin car within the year. I at least, want to find a nice place for us to go for a weekend on our 10th anniversary this August.

I'm also intent on finding a yoga class that I can start attending after Ly gets into martial arts classes. My body SO needs it. I've been having some neck/numbness/spasming symptoms again. I'm seeing the doc this week. They are manageable, but I want to at least get another referral for 12 more massages.

Ly and I purchased Serenity yesterday. Le Sigh. Only 4 more seasons of Angel to acquire, and the Joss Whedon world will be mine forever! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

My Toosdee

So I'm sitting here at my computer, finally having a day where I can get some of my massage work done. Yay!

The show went up this weekend. For all of you who haven't seen the link, here is the show information:

Opening went well. The show got mixed reviews that ran the gamut. The talkback was very interesting, the show definitely brings up issues for many people. Come check it out if you can. Had a nice little run-in with the sidewalk opening night. It came up and bit my ankle. Who knows if the vodka had anything to do with it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Anyway, it's feeling much better now. Saturdays shows just a little more swagger from Ruth than normal. It became a "drunk thing".

Saw Ly's show again last night, and it re-affirmed everything I'd thought. He made me cry again. It's truly a great role for him.

Sunday was spent lounging, watching movies, adjusting my attitude, and getting some exercise in many senses of the word. I had been around women all week, it was time for some batter up action. Oh we also saw Howl's Moving Castle. Oh my God! I highly recommend it to everyone. I am becoming such a Miyazaki fan. Ly cooked jerk chicken on a bed of greens and sweet potatoes. Le yum! And for the most fattening delightful finish, we had Ben and Jerry's Dublin Mudslide with half and half drizzled over it.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Tap, tap, this thing on?

Pardon me while I dust off the keyboard. Lately, life has been a series of flashes passing me by while I drive by at 80 mph.

My mother and I actually had a conversation the other day about how I'm getting older, and "don't you think you need to give yourself more do too much..." Uhm yeah, thanks mom, learned from the best. Who loves ya babe? Seriously, it was good to talk to the madre. She's a nutball, but damn I love her.

Massage world has been completely and utterly rewarding lately. I have had some of the most intense, killer sessions with people lately. I have been very, very lucky to receive these people in my practice. Without going into tons of detail, I have a new client who was badly burned in a car wreck many years ago. Most of this person's(who I will call "X") upper body is covered in pretty intense scar tissue: fingers are missing, there was actual muscle loss in the chest, extensive nerve damage throughout. Suffice it to say, this body is pulled very tight with scar tissue and fascial binding. With nerve damage, if there is no feeling in any given area, one cannot do much massage. If there is some feeling, one can do very gentle fascial stretching, and some cranial work. After our first session, X came back a few weeks later for the 2nd session. I talked X into allowing me to work the chest and abdomen where most of the really bad scar tissue resides. X obviously had issues surrounding people seeing it, let alone touching it. As I did some gentle fascial work, I listened for the cranial rhythm. With many people, a practitioner can feel the rhythm within a few minutes, at most. I had to listen very intently with X, because the rhythm seemed to be deeper, more hidden if you will. I was almost in tears during this whole session. Not because I felt sorry for X, but because I kept thinking of what a gift it was (and I don't mean to sound like a bumper sticker) to be allowed to experience this part of X. I thought to myself, if I can give X one moment, one hour of freedom from their life, increased range of motion, increased relaxation and peace, what a fantastic and amazing thing that would be. X and I talked about perspective, and how injuries, burns, car wrecks, etc. can do a lot to help one gain perspective. This is one of the biggest benefits of my bodywork practice.

I have also had many people who have had some really nice emotional releases, and been very brave and forthright in dealing with the energy that we release from their cells. I have also been able to do a lot more cranialsacral in my practice lately, and I'm loving it. I have made a determination to take the cranial certification this year. I will constantly be fascinated, and awed by the power of the body and the mind.

So in other news, my show. It's no secret, I've been stressed as hell about it. I LOVE the women, and men I'm working with. I love the director of the play, she's wonderful. The story is one that I think needs to be told, and the characters are interesting and ready to be developed. The lines just feel impossible to memorize. I almost typed, "the lines ARE impossible to memorize...", but I can't even think that way or it won't happen. There are specifics as to why I feel this way, but I don't feel comfortable typing them online. If anyone is curious, and hasn't already heard me talk about it, send me an email. I've been losing sleep over this show, and as my mother already told me, I'm too old to have that happen anymore. Thanks mom. Moral of the story, read the script before saying yes to doing a show. Anyway, we are heading into tech week, here's to the cast rocking the party, and getting really, really good at improvising. They are some tough fierce bitches I'm working with.

Meanwhile, I am trying to squeeze any sort of billing in between massaging so much, rehearsing, and having my script stapled to my abdomen for easy reference. I will be excited to get this show going so I can get back to focusing on my business. As the Hound mentioned on his blog though, we finally got our taxes off. Here's to hoping Turbo Tax hooked us up. I think things are kosher, but one's never sure when one does one's taxes by oneself. Moral of this story, make enough money to hire an accountant, AND a biller.

And to echo what Beige said about The Swan, the lovely little ditty my Hound is acting in, I have never in my life been moved by a performance like my husband moved me in this show. He made me cry. He accessed vulnerabilities that I haven't seen him access on stage yet, and I've seen him in many, many plays. His physicality, his control of his body, and vocal patterns are unprecedented. He has truly found a role that is perfect for him. And the fact that he was prancing around buck naked on stage for a few pages didn't hurt either. I saw it opening night, and I was like, "uhm yeah...that's mine...and it is GUD!"

There were other things I wanted to say, but they escape me now, and my hands are very tired from working all day and then rehearsing. I hope to be back sooner than later. I WILL be more active in blog world, starting next Monday. The show opens on Friday.

And until then, I leave you with a line from my show...

"The vagina has muscles that are crucial to pleasing a man."

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Regular drive-by

weekly post. Once this show goes up, I hope to be more regular, and I hope to post more as well (insert rimshot).

So I'm about to go meet some dude from craigslist because I'm finally purchasing an inexpensive Office XP so I don't have to mess with this Open Office software anymore (thank you Open Office, but no one can open my attachments).

My pile of billing grows, as does my belly as I haven't been able to work out in 2 weeks. And I just now, this very minute realized that my moods have been much more moody since the exercise decline. I just had a cancellation Thursday at the club though, so elliptical machine, here I come, and I'm gonna kick your ass.

Did the tax return, finally got it down to where we only owed $90, but I sent it online, to be looked over by some tax professionals, and it seems there are audit flags and errors. Le Shit! No time to figure it out now though, perhaps this weekend.

Lines have to be memorized by this weekend. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, so it's not THAT bad, but damnit, I'm kinda freaking about this. There is just no time. I'm sure I have more memorized than I think I do, but's hard teacher.

I am however, scheduled to get 3 hours of massage today, and 3 hours on Thursday. It's technique evaluation time again at the school. These are tech 4's, which means it the last one, and the students are at their best. BoofrigginYA, I say! My back, and neck need it, and my body always supplies the students with endless amounts of pathologies and fun.

Ok, that's all, for now. Loves!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Thank you universe

for the 2 insurance checks, and 6 copay checks I received the very next day after posting my last post. Thank you for the new insurance client I received with burns over half of his upper body that served to give me a whole lot of perspective about life, and remind me of the real reason I do bodywork. I was very humbled to be able to put my hands on his skin and feel gross muscle mass lost, see scar tissue encroaching onto his face, feel the tautness of the scar tissue pull at his skeleton, and realize that if only for a moment, if I can give him one ounce of freedom of movement, relaxation, a clearer sense of what is going on in his body, freedom from his migraines, I will have done my job. Thank you for sending me this perspective, and the reminder that money, is secondary.

Thank you also for the amazing Buddhist meeting last night, where we discussed how the practice has helped someone overcome and manage bipolar disorder, where we talked about the connection between Buddhism and science, where we heard about a multi-millionaire Japanese man who worked in, and cleaned a bathroom in Japan because he wanted to meet, and take care of American members that came to visit the SGI there.

Thank you for the wonderful women I am doing my current show with, who are making this process, considering the topic of the piece, cake. Thank you for the learning that is coming my way in regards to this show.

Thank you for my family, who is going through some very tough times right now with mental health, issues with the safety of my nieces and nephews, emotional and physical exhaustion, and working out their own lives.

Thank you for my husband, without whom, I would be so much less fulfilled, challenged, entertained, and most definitely fucked like a demon.

Thank you for my blogger friends, who despite not being able to keep up with their lives as frequently any more, I think about every day, and wish them all the fulfillment in the world.

Thank you for the opportunity to listen to friends and family members who are in need. Every time I talk to them, I learn something about myself.

Thank you universe, thank you.

Friday, March 17, 2006

L Word Meme

Which Character from The L Word are You???

you are SHANE! the heartthrob of the group, you're with a new catch every time you go out. you've got the whole 'sexy' thing down and use it to get whatever you want, whenever you want it!
Take this quiz!

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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Money can kiss my ass

Vent-age ahead, don't read if you don't want to hear me go off...

I'm at a loss. I have only gotten paid for 4 massages since 2/6/06 when I went back to work. Our parents are tapped, about $1200 in bills coming due in the next two weeks. I have ABSOLUTELY no idea where any money is coming from. I am so tired of red-tape bureaucracy, and all the requisite bullshit paperwork involved. And you know what, the big rich companies still win out. Between the insurance companies, the drug companies, the oil companies, this country is going down the shitter. There is only so much time in the day to stay on insurance company's assess between doing massage, rehearsal (I really should have thought twice about the timing of this show), and being self-employed and running a business.

I'm trying to be strong, trying to stay positive and keep things moving in a forward direction, but sometimes, some days, you just want to sit down in a corner, tell the world to fuck off, and cry for 3 days.

The show is good, I like the ladies I'm working with, I still have some trouble with the script - which in some parts, reads like a self-help book on pedophilia/incest/power issues. I think the actresses involved will make it work though(they are all pretty kick ass), I love the director, and think that she is very talented at creating very wonderful images on stage. It will be interesting, at the very least.

Please universe, please send me the money I've made so Ly and I can pay our bills and eat. Please universe, send me my period early so I also don't have to be a raging hormonal succubus while trying to sort all this shit out.

Anybody have any good rice and bean recipes? Lentils? Anyone? Anyone? Cheap and easy, cheap and easy, just like me.