Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Friday, September 22, 2006

Ya know...

Sometimes I can be very annoying, know-it-all, busy-body. I realize that this may not be news to some of you. The last thing I ever intend to do is piss people off who just don't want to hear it. I realize that much of this may be my projections, but some of it isn't.

I worry sometimes, especially in regards to my Buddhist practice, that some people feel like I'm shoving the whole "up-with-people-positivity-you-can-create-whatever-you-want-in-your-life" in their faces. I don't want to become one of those religious fanatic types. It's hard sometimes, because very often, I tend to not view the Buddhism I practice as "religion", per se. I view it as bodywork, spirit work, vocal work, and in the end, religion - if you feel better calling it that. Thing is, Buddha was a man. He attained enlightenment in this life, in the present moment. I fully believe that anyone can create this.

I just get very zealous sometimes thinking about all the good things my practice has created in my life. I get zealous, I see people I care about suffering, and I want to help. I think I need to develop more creative nuances in how I share my experience.

I also worry sometimes (I am human and can't help it), that people think my life is all tea and cakes. Not true, at all. Things still suck, my body still hurts (a lot - but not as much as it did one month ago before I started making my physical pain a big part of my practice), I still feel extremely overwhelmed, I still get really fucking angry at a lot of things. It just seems like these emotions don't have as much control over me as they used to, which is nice. I also don't tend to post the extent of the "bad stuff" because I've been burned, a lot, when I've posted such things online in the past. Ultimately, the bottom line is, that if there is anything about me or my life that can assist someone I care about to create happiness in their own lives, then I'll do whatever it takes.

I post this disclaimer today for me. No one has spoken with me directly about any ill effects of my sometimes annoying positivity. If what I say resonates, then perhaps reading this will shed some light on my intentions, perhaps not. Ultimately, I just want the people I care about to be happy. The thing I have to remind myself of constantly is that they will be happy when they are ready to be happy, and not in accordance with my timelines.

I guess it's a good thing that I didn't get my Master's in Psychology. They say you teach best what you most need to learn.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

De Do Do Do De Da Da Da

Or so my new ringtone says. So many things going on right now. I'm going to ramble, continue at your own risk.

So speaking of ringtones, Ly and I got new cell phones yesterday. Well, I got a new one, and Ly got one for the first time. He's needed one for so long now. It will be nice to call him at the store and say, "yo, we need some chicken too." The convenience of that vision tastes sweet on my tongue. If that makes me a cheap whore, so be it. Speaking of being a cheap whore, I also bought a new printer (one that will handle more than one piece of paper at a time - what WAS I thinking?), a 4 drawer file drawer with a lock, so that all my files will fit in one file and the feng shui of my office/bedroom will clear the hell up already.

And finally, to top of my spending SPREE of yesterday(seems so far away now), I bought 2 plane tickets to ALBUQUERQUE, NM. Yes folks, 2 tickets to visit the KRAUSE HOUSE for a week during Thanksgiving. Can I get a hallelujah? I need to get. out. of. dodge. again. It is time to fly the coup and go see my bitch and her little kidlets. Ly gets to come this time (he was needfully absent last trip - as to who's need, I'll leave up to your imagination). It's going to be a martial arts/yoga/bodywork FESTIVAL. I'm very excited to geek out with my girl, cook good food, spend time with the kids, see some more of NM, and just chill.

So what precipitated this spending spree you ask? Well, I wake up two days ago, to an email in my inbox. It's from Capitol One. It says something along the lines of:

Mr. and Mrs. White (I HATE being called Mrs. White), due to your excellent payment history, we've increased your limit by XXXX dollars each year. Thank you for your continued support, blah, blah, blah. Or in other words:

Your dangerously close to paying off your credit card and we must keep you hooked into a Capitolist system that, in the end, produces only waste products. Wait, I thought I was in Beige's blog for a second, sorry. :)

The increased limit was a blessing, really. We were able to go to NM without too much bill shuffling, I'm getting some office equipment that will make billing easier, increase my output, and decrease the time I use my hands. So, yay all around.

Finally, a client of mine came in the other day. She and her partner are planning on adopting a child. They found this organization that does not discrimate based on race, gender, sexual orientation or income. It's a foster to permanent placement program. There is a one time ceritification fee. You then go through the certification process, you're apartment/house is certified. You take classes for 8 weeks...and in the end, the adoption fee is a very small percentage of your annual income. My client was telling me it's closer to 4 numbers, instead of the 5 I was thinking. So this makes me incredibly happy. I just feel more comfortable knowing there are organizations out there who work with a vast array of people.

edited to add:

Ly, you better tell people soon about your magazine writing gig

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

If you have not yet,

get thyself to see Little Miss Sunshine pronto.

It is one of the best laugh-out-loud movies I have seen in a long while.