An Ex-Mo'ey Mish Mosh

There are tons of small things I'm wanting to post about. I've started a few drafts, and decided to combine everything. So this is going to be like leftover night when you were growing up. A little mac and cheese with hot dogs, a little spaghetti, last night's mixed vegetables you couldn't bear to throw away, some about to turn pears, all topped with a nice glass of kool-aid.


So Ly wakes up this morning to water spraying out of the ceiling fan in our bathroom. That's good times. I call and leave a message for the landlord, and am currently in a holding pattern. It's died down, a lot. But there is still a small trickle. I have to wait until she calls back before I can go into work. Our ceiling looks like it got burned with battery acid, the entire apartment more humid than usual, in that northwest mossy sort of way. I wandered around the house with my bloomers on, tits to the wind, in that "got violently pulled out of a very satisfying dream" state. My face eventually uncrinkled, I kissed Ly, and sent him on his way to work. Tried to go back to sleep, to no avail. Got up and chanted for a half hour, and well, the world is a different place.

Speaking of chanting and the world being a different place. Last Monday I came home from a full day of massaging. I was in so much pain, I couldn't sit up, I couldn't move my right hand, and I just cried. I worked just one muscle in my right shoulder (the levator scapulae - for those of you wanting to know such things), I propped myself up, decided I was sick and tired of being a slave to pain, chanted and cried for 45 minutes. At the end of my chanting session, I had absolutely no pain, could move my fingers, and stand. I hear all these medical stories in the SGI. Stories of epileptics becoming asymptomatic after chanting for a year, AIDS victims who have faced death multiple times (as in had a T cell count of 13 - that's very low), and are still here to talk about it. One of the stories that first really got me into considering becoming a Buddhist, was the story of a woman who had cancer in her entire larynx(voicebox). She had to have the entire thing removed. She obviously had no voice after this. Despite having no voice, she chanted by pushing air through her mouth, and moving her lips. After 2 years of "chanting", this woman went back to the doctor, they did a laryngeal scope, and her body had grown scar tissue that was functioning as vocal cords. The woman could totally speak. Come hell or high water, I am going to get a handle on this pain. My mind is going to heal my body, that's all there is to it.

See, this shit fascinates the hell outta me. Quantum physics, string theory, particle-wave duality, multiple dimensions - GOOD TIMES! I think the bottom line, is that by the end of my life, I just want to be able to put my hands on people, and have them be well. I wanna move things with my mind. You wait man, you wait.

Ok, so I wish I were in Albuquerque. I miss my friends. And the kids are so cute, they're killing. Ladies, have one for me, K?

I also wanted to post a thing about anger. I decided to scrap my draft, and just condense some stuff. I've just really been trying to reconcile the fact that I'm an angry bitch sometimes. Uhm, yeah, whatever peanut gallery. Seriously, I'm like Stine, get your mind off your own damn self for a second. Then I do that, and the anger dissipates (doesn't leave, but dissipates). I've been trying to work it more where I can transform the shit, before it becomes destructive. It's still the same energy, but it creates something different, if that makes sense. I fail at it, often. But at least I can practice for the rest of my life.

I was going to post something about women and anger in relation to growing up Mormon, but decided to scrap most of that too. Yes, there are issues, yes, women are marginalized, undercut, loved and, at times, respected. But they are also not given the same consideration, on a large scale, as men. But you know, guess the only choice I have is to tranform that too. Don't know if any of that made any sense, but it was satisfying to type.

So the last thing I wanted to post about was jingles. I got a bunch of old commercial jingles in my head the other day, and was like, I should do a jingle test. So I'm gonna make one up, and post it in a bit.

TaTas