So the visiting teachers came to my house to visit. She'd been trying to get ahold of me for like a month - needless to say I wasn't exactly "on the ball" in calling her back. So she finally got me at home. They wanted to come over, last night, which was a Sunday. Many of my exmo friends are like, wow, why? And you know, if I marginalize them, if I behave exclusionary towards them, then I am no different than the treatment I experienced in their church.
I told C, that I would be happy to have them over and chat, as long as they knew I had absolutely no desire to come back to church.
The came over, it was relatively banal, and chit chatty. They asked about what I did for a living, what my husband did. We talked about "The Sons of Provo" (which if you haven't seen it, run out and rent it NOW!!!!!!!! It's hilarious...you have to trust me). They gave us some "Sparkling Cider" for New Year's. I thanked them thinking of the vodka cran I would be downing that night, and they went on their merry way.
They want to come back, and I told them, with some hestitancy, but in all honesty, that they could come back. I told them that my schedule does not allow for regular visits, but I appreciated their hospitality, and we would talk soon.
Part of me did it, because you know, I've finally realized, what I am doing to dispel what I believe to be myths, if not telling them about the way I view the world? They came into my house, if they want to talk religion, I'm happy to. Perhaps they'd learn something, perhaps not - I've stopped having expectations of this. However, I'd like to think, that on some level, I have at least made a few TBMs think twice about a few things.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
They came...
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5 comments:
We have a Mormon church by my parents' house. So once a year the young men would walk around our neighborhood to talk to people and spread the word. Where I grew up is over 90 percent Catholic, so I am sure that it was a frustrating experience.
My father who is a deacon in the Catholic church always invites these people in and has a long talk with them about Catholicism and Mormonism. I always thought that it was such a waste of time. He's not going to change his views and they are not going to change their views. My mom and I would always just not open the door.
what's a tbm?
I had a mormon nun (?? she had a habit on and said she was mormon) stop by once. just the once, though. I am always cordial.
the jehovah's witnesses, though...man, are they PERSISTENT.
here's what I always wonder, and maybe you can help me. they always want to come in and discuss religion, and I know there is no way I am ever going to convert. so, I could say "sure" and raise their expectations, and waste my time and theirs, or I could say "no" and save myself the trouble. but...part of what they do, who they are, what they're supposed to do is evangelize. so maybe even if I know I'll never convert, I am taking away an opportunity for them to notch their belt with more evangelizing. I don't know. I usually just pretend not to be home these days.
Wow, you're a better exmo than I am. I'm currently in hiding from the church here. They sent me a letter asking me if I was the Amanda Smith Krause formerly of Cedar City, and I threw it away. I was SO tempted to lie and tell them they had the wrong gal, but I couldn't bring myself to blatantly lie to the church. No one has called or come by, so I'm hoping they'll lose me soon.
I admire your willingness to try to communicate your beliefs to people who probably have no interest in actually respecting them. As you know, a big part of what keeps me from being able to do that is the anger I still carry around toward the church. Maybe I just need more time away, I don't know. At this point, it just seems like a huge waste of my time to try to explain, or avoid explaining, why I'm out of the church and will never, EVER, go back.
Although, free food is always good. ;)
Lonna, well, now I have a phone with caller ID. See, I think I will still talk to them, unless they become overbearing. In which case, I would politely tell them that I appreciate their desire to do whatever it is they feel they need to, and then kindly re-state my boundaries.
Patrice, "TBM" = "True Blue Mormon" I guess there still is a part of me that would like Mormons to "think differently". I will probably continue to talk to them, to give them an opportunity to think differently. As I said though, I no longer expect it. If they choose to learn from me, that is their choice. Worse case scenario, I give them a few moments of immersion in something they are not used to (namely me, my life, or my home).
Mandy, I DO know how you feel. I think though, I've been away longer and had more of a chance for the anger to become something different. I still feel it, I think that the Buddhist study has shifted my intent. You haven't been away for nearly long enough. I'd still be angry too if I were you. Our mothers, while still having many simlarities in regards to their relationship with the church, are different in this respect. I think mine is a little more jaded than yours. So many things go into one's relationship with the religion one grew up with. I think that's true of Mormons, Catholics, Buddhists, and anyone.
To mad to let those bitches ever come in my house. Kudos to you though.
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