Saturday, February 03, 2007

Food Journal - Beefy Salty Nuggets

Dear Food Diary,

Last evening I had a freakout to beat all freakouts. The boy and I were catching up on some downloaded BSG. We went in the kitchen for a snack, I turn around, and the little bitch was carving up some peppered beef steak. My stomach jumped into my throat, I couldn't breathe, I felt like he was cutting my heart out. I wanted that meaty, salty nugget more than life itself. I felt like I was losing my mind...no seriously. I started to have a panic attack of the first order. I felt my heartbeat quicken, the knot in my solar plexus grew, and I started jumping up and down from the sheer torture of it all. I lurched towards my beef chopping husband, grabbed his shirt, screaming for him to bring me a nacho tray full of beef nuggets, nacho cheese, and a big glass of rice milk. In my food fantasy, I was gonna use those beef nuggets as chips. I shiver now in the mere retelling.

I continued to jump around the living room, panicking, trying to keep my head from exploding off my body from want of meat, cheese, and salt. It was really frackin weird y'all. Freaked Ly out a bit. But alas, I made it through the rain, didn't have any meat or cheese. I went to the fridge, and pulled out my concoction of brown rice, tomatoes, red onions, and flayed baked salmon. The crisis was averted, but shit man, it was close there for a bit.

Liver Cleanse: Day 5 (16 more to go)

7 comments:

Christine said...

HEH! So I am to understand you are still doing your liver cleanse..... :D

Paul Strasko said...

Besides, meat and dairy together are not Kosher -- you have done well my young padewan -- any time you wish to start converting -- oh, wait, I work for a non-evangelical G_d -- Kewl. hehehehe

Missuz J said...

You are awesome and your will power is mind boggling. Nice.

keda said...

phew.. ouch. you really do have super powers.

NME said...

WOW! You have will of steel. I don't know how you do it. I wish you well.

Miss Kris said...

Heh - Dr. E strongly recommended that Tony do the liver cleanse with me if I chose to do it because it would make things much easier. Good job on fighting the temptation!

Anonymous said...

wow

I would have totally caved and after I ate the steak I would probably start BBQ up the hubby. :)

Are you feeling any healthier?