Friday, February 09, 2007

Food Journal 2 - The Cookie Mirage

I need to start by saying that sugar has never really been my thang. However, I do have my moments, and one came upon me last night.

I was sitting in the living room, doing some late night stretches as the boy and I lounged watching a Netflix. I looked into the soft glow of the kitchen, and there on the counter, was a shimmering plastic container full of round, full, bulbous cookies. I blinked for a second, because I knew I wouldn't buy cookies being on this liver cleanse. I open my eyes, I look at the container a second time, and powdered sugar seemed to appear on the tops of them muthafuckas instantaneously.

So now I'm thinking that they're some soft-baked-gingersnappy-spices-cinnamony goodness, and my mouth starts to gush waters of delight. I look at Lyam, who is watching the flick, oblivious, turn back to the cookies, and shit and behold the friggin cookies were cherry tomatoes. My gut ached with the unfairness of it all, but I sucked it up, and then sucked up 3 of my tomato "cookies".

pause for moment of silence for Stine

In other news, I have an appointment Monday with a potential biller, who I have heard raves about. Please let the gods in heaven hook me up with this chick.

I think Ly and I are going to go out to Discovery Park this Sunday, take a walk, and perhaps pack a little picnic of green onions, red cabbage, and brussel sprouts. Pity Me.

Anybody who's around is welcome to come, give a call.


Liver Cleanse: Day 11, 10 more to go

8 comments:

NME said...

Your appetite is playing damn dirty tricks on you. Next you will be seeing an oasis filled with large luscious lakes of hot fudge.

Have fun at the park and good luck with the biller.

JJisafool said...

Oh, what you and Ly would do with large luscious lakes of hot fudge.

Stay strong, sister.

Missuz J said...

Damn girl. You have willpower to burn! Wish I could borrow a little of it.

I'm curious how your body in general feels. Good? Weird? Starved?

Stine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stine said...

Well B, it's about time I cultivate some will power. I ain't had much up to this point.

My body feels good. My skin is softer, with less blemishes, I've lost 5 pounds, overall my joints don't have that dull ache, my blood sugar, and hence my energy feels very stabilized, grounded, and calm. As opposed to the caffeine energy I'm used to that has that tinge of "riding the rails". My moods have also, while still dramatic and wacky, been much more uniform.

For example, for lunch I just had a protein shake, a raw salad of 3 kinds of kale, brocolli, cabbage, and lettuce, some leftover cod baked in orange and lemon juice (plus a little zest) with some green onions on top. It wasn't a BLT with avocado, which my mind wants, but it did fill me up, make my my brain happy, and make my body function more effectively.

I feel full. I'm not hungry. But don't get me wrong, I'm not satisfied either. That's the biggest thing I'm learning, is that so much of my eating has to do with my mind, and not necessarily what my body "needs" at any given point.

Like last night, I have to confess, I slipped a bit, lest anyone misread my will power too extensively. I had 2 slices of the aforementioned "beefy nuggets", and the rest of the night, my liver felt all fragile, energetic, a bit sore, and like it really didn't know what to do with the nitrates in the beef log. It was weird, but it was also very telling, and made me realize how powerful this whole thing has been.

All that said, I have already planned my dinner the evening I'm done with the cleanse. We are having soft tacos, with organic grass-fed beef, fresh organic tomatoes, lettuce, and some sort of foofee cheese.

Must go lick my lips now and fantasize.

Anonymous said...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm brussel sprouts. I've got some that I've been nursing in the garden. With any luck the squirrels won't get them this year.

You'll be all done with your cleanse in time for Girl Scout cookies. If you're in need, I know a couple cuties that can totally hook you up. ;)

Hang in there oh strong one!

Unknown said...

stine, your cookie story made me laugh, made me cry; it was an emotional roller coaster fer sure!

and i didn't know you had a blog either, until you posted your comment on mine. how bout that!

Miss Kris said...

What a mirage! I've had the same feeling from eating 'dirty' food after fasting.

I was pondering doing the liver cleanse long before I was even thinking about getting pregnant. It won't be something that I try for quite some time now :)