In no particular order:
The show went very well this past week. We had 23 people for last night's show, which is good for a second Thursday. We have gotten two critically acclaimed reviews, and (knock on wood) hopefully the rest of the run will continute to grow. I just have so much fun doing this show. It's such a great role, with such great fellow actors. I simply adore working with them all. I'm pretty nervous though because tomorrow night everyone I know is coming to the show. I just have to tune it out and go to "that" place.
Things at Allstar Fitness have started to speed up. I've gotten 3 new insurance clients within this past week. I think, at the end of November, I am going to be done with Brian Utting. I'm considering giving notice this next week when I return. I'm excited to just be doing massage. Also, if I have to keep track of all this billing stuff, I am going to need those extra days at home to get my bookkeeping and billing done. I'm actually thinking of hiring someone to do it so all I have to do is keep my SOAP notes and charts, and they can do the rest. I want to make enough money to have someone for billing and to have an accountant to do my taxes each year.
Mandy will be here in just over 7 hours. I'm so excited I can't stand it. But it will be nice to come home after the show and have the gang there. I too wish she could stay longer, plus I just found out that I have to work most of Monday, and thus probably won't be able to take her back to the airport. That's ok, we will make the most of today, Saturday and Sunday. Sunday is going to be girl day complete with massages, yoga, tarot readings, good healthy food, attitude adjustments, and the kind of happy banter that only we can do.
So there are some intense interpersonal issues that have happened recently. I'm trying to work them all out in my head. I'm not comfortable posting them on the blog outright, but the question is, how to disguise them enough to protect all involved, but still make my points clear.
Let me just say this, friendship is a very tenous thing. Duality exists in every aspect of friendship. There is a fine line between love and hate, defensiveness and taking responsibility, anger and joy. It has caused me to look at myself and reevaluate why I do what I do. It has also caused me to become much more clear in what I want from my life and what I expect from those closest to me. I am no longer comfortable being silent when those close to me make choices that may ultimately hurt themselves and/or others. It's nice to finally realize that. It's nice to know that despite feeling angry, resentful, pissed-off and defensive, that one can come to a place of clarity, compassion, and respect.
More on this later. For now, the clients call.
Friday, November 04, 2005
A little bit of everything
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3 comments:
The show on Saturday was outstanding. You have a real gift for pathos on stage and the role was a great fit for that energy.
Sorry about lingering too long on Saturday, I didn't mean to intrude I just wasn't particularly capable of sensitively discerning the full situation at the time. I plead personal crisis blindness and beg forgiveness.
Keep on striving for the greatness in you, it was great to see it live.
I wish I could see the show, too. I can't wait to hear amanda gush about it.
I am intrigued by your last few paragraphs. I too have started to "put my foot down" and talk about what I want from some of my friends. I am interested to hear what you're doing and how it's going.
Matt, thank you for the compliment and for your apology. Apology accepted, however there are too many things that I wish to say, that simply cannot be stated online. It's just really unfortunate the way many things turned out this trip. My hope is that you can truly find what it is you seek. My wish for you is that you can fully experience undeniable truth, a peaceful reality, true compassion and fully grasp human emotion as well as passion.
Patrice, what I am doing is drawing boundaries, which I am slowly and surely being able to do more effectively. If you would like to chat via email, I'd be happy to. You can email me at stine69@gmail.com. I would feel more comfortable doing that.
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